The Thirty-Second Day: Jesus Chronicles Part 4

Ok, so I know I haven't posted weekly like I promised, and true I due have more time on my hands but life has been kinda crazy so you will just have to deal with it. However, I was doing my dishes tonight and I thought up a new part for The Jesus Chronicles. So hear it is, hope you enjoy!

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Well, again I was doing the dishes when *POOF*

Devil: Hello babe

Me: GOD DAMMIT!!! Why must you always poof in while I'm doing the dishes, I nearly broke that plate. Its Fiestaware, do you know how expensive that is!?!? DO YOU!?!?!

Devil: Well I'm sorry but I just came in to give you this. *kneels down and pulls out engagement ring*

Me: OH MY GAWD!!! No way, no way, really? Yes Yes I will totally marry you Charles!!

Devil: Kyle!! What did we say about using my real name?

Me: Oh, sorry *monotone* I'm so sorry for using your real name my dark lord, please forgive me *rolls eyes*

Devil: It's alright, now, who do you want to invite to the wedding?

*POOF*

Mary: WELL ME OF COURSE *hic* I of course must be there *hic*

*POOF*

Jesus: Mother, what are you doing here? I told you to never come here!

Me: RELAX *hic* They are just a bunch of fags, what are they gonna do, shove glitter down my throat!!!! *chugs down drink* Well, I wouldn't mind that if it was vodka flavored glitter.

Devil: Well Jesus, guess what? Me and Kyle here just got engaged.

Jesus: WHAT!!!! How dare you enter into the sanctity of marriage with this boy!!!

Devil: Whats wrong? Jealous I got here first?

Me: Ooh, can we have Chinese food at the wedding, I love crab ragoons!

Jesus: *laughs*

Me: *coldly* Excuse me?

Jesus: What?

Me: Did you laugh at something I said?

Jesus: Oh, well I just think it ridiculous that you want Chinese food at your wedding!

Me: HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE FOOD OF ALL FOODS, CHINESE FOOD IS MANNA FROM HEAVEN, IT IS ONLY THE BEST FOOD EVER CREATED AND IF I WANT TO HAVE IT AT MY WEDDING I WILL, GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!

Mary: Woah *hic*

Devil: Kyle, darling. It's quite alright. We can have whatever you want at the wedding. He has no say.

Mary: Ummm, *classy, british accent* dearest Kyle, if I might be so bold as to wonder if I perhaps could be the bar tender, why it would mean so much to me *hic*

Me: Nice accent Mary, but yes, you can be the bar tender

Jesus: Big mistake

Mary: SHUT UP!!!! Yes, yes, yes. I'm the bar tender, my dream has come true, free unlimited alcohol. WOO HOO!!!!!

Jesus: But you already have free unlimited alcohol.

Mary: But that shit you call liquor in Heaven taste like its watered down. ITS SHITTY!!!

Jesus: Mother! Control your tongue.

Devil: I think perhaps you should remove her before she does something bad

Mary: NO, I want to stay here with the homosexuals, I want to learn about glitter and shopping and why gay men have such perfect abs. Why don't you have abs like that Jesus, don't you lift weights, are you too afra- *POOF*

Me: Oh thank god, I thought they would never leave

Devil: Me too, now, I think perhaps we should think of what we want for desert at the wedding

Me: Ooh, lets have chocolate chip pancakes, and at the reception we can watch Toy Story 3

To be continued...