Well I said I was going to post stories on here too, and I wrote a pseudo story I guess a while ago. Its called The Jesus Chronicles and I thought it up while doing the dishes one day, I have written three parts so far and hope everyone enjoys it. The fourth part shall be posted hopefully over the weekend. ENJOY!!!
Well everyone, I was doing the dishes tonight and I turned around to put a mug away and who was standing there but none other than Jesus. We started a conversation and here it is for every one to see.
Me: oh! Hey who are you?
Jesus: Well I'm Jesus.
Me: Well you don't look like Jesus, your too short to be him.
Jesus: How do you know what I look like, I'm Jesus, your Lord, Christ Himself.
Me: Actually I don't believe in anything really. Anyway why are you here, did you bring me a quest or something, cause if so you'll have to wait until I'm done with the dishes.
Jesus: Forget your dishes, I am your Lord God I am yo-
Me: MAN, someone packed their angry eyes today, damn girl you gotta chillax.
Jesus: "Angry Eyes", whats that?
Me: It's from Toy Story 2, jeez you should know you created it!
Jesus: Actually I didn't, Satan did.
Me: Satan created Toy Story, are you serious, well what else did he create?]
Jesus: Well, umm. He created school, skinny jeans, eyeliner, football, psychology, mayple syrup, and umm pancakes.
Me: Pancakes? Really, are you playing me, he really created pancakes.
Jesus: Yes he did, and any way why are we talking about this?
Me: Do you like pancakes?
Jesus: What, what do you mean?
Me: Do you like pancakes, its and easy question, why don't you answer it?
Jesus: yes(mumbles)
Me: What?]
Jesus: YES, I LIKE PANCAKES!!! THERE I SAID IT! OKAY NOW! I LIKE A BREAKFAST PASTRY THAT WAS CREATED BY SATAN, THE LORD OF DARKNESS HIMSELF, JESUS CHRIST, ARE YOU ANNOYING OR WHAT? GOD, ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS COME DOWN HERE AND SHOW MY SELF TO A DERSERVING MORAL AND I GET PESTERED BY HIM. OMG, THIS IS HORRIBEL, ITS WORSE THAN BEING CRUCIFIED.
Me: Okay, okay. Man, all I wanted to know was if you like them or not, dude calm down.(you like pancakes, and the devil created them, na na na na naaa na)
Jesus: Okay, I'm sorry. I'm calm. Allright. There now back to busin-
Me: What did you mean "deserving"?
Jesus: What?
Me: What did you mean by " a deserving mortal", do I look deserving, I mean does something happen in the future that makes me deserving, do I like eat a bad batch of devil pancakes, or what? Why am I deserving?
Jesus: Nothing, I just thought I'd come down here and amazing one of my many Christian followers, and show them that I really am truly here!
Me: Umm, I'm not Chrisitan, I'm not anything, I said that!
Jesus: What, you mean your not a humble follower of the light?
Me: No, actually I'm gay, so my light is really more of a rainbow, I think you threw in a prysm there somewhere when you created me.
Jesus: So, I've been down here talking with a mortal and a homosexual, damn it, can this day get any worse?
Me: Actually it can, I mean the devil could come out with Toy Story 3, and the world surely would come to end in an evil pancake-y, syrup-y mess, now wouldn't it.
Jesus: Enough with pancakes, man do I need to chill, do you have any video games?
Me: Oh so the devil didn't invent those?
Jesus: No, he didn't, I did, it can get pretty boring up there in the sky with nothing to do, so I created something to do, I also created the sofa. There never seem to be enough chairs in Heaven.
Me: Hmmm, interesting. Well if it's games you want then check out this game I found on this porn site. Oh did the devil create porn too?
To Be Continued....
Me: oh! Hey who are you?
Jesus: Well I'm Jesus.
Me: Well you don't look like Jesus, your too short to be him.
Jesus: How do you know what I look like, I'm Jesus, your Lord, Christ Himself.
Me: Actually I don't believe in anything really. Anyway why are you here, did you bring me a quest or something, cause if so you'll have to wait until I'm done with the dishes.
Jesus: Forget your dishes, I am your Lord God I am yo-
Me: MAN, someone packed their angry eyes today, damn girl you gotta chillax.
Jesus: "Angry Eyes", whats that?
Me: It's from Toy Story 2, jeez you should know you created it!
Jesus: Actually I didn't, Satan did.
Me: Satan created Toy Story, are you serious, well what else did he create?]
Jesus: Well, umm. He created school, skinny jeans, eyeliner, football, psychology, mayple syrup, and umm pancakes.
Me: Pancakes? Really, are you playing me, he really created pancakes.
Jesus: Yes he did, and any way why are we talking about this?
Me: Do you like pancakes?
Jesus: What, what do you mean?
Me: Do you like pancakes, its and easy question, why don't you answer it?
Jesus: yes(mumbles)
Me: What?]
Jesus: YES, I LIKE PANCAKES!!! THERE I SAID IT! OKAY NOW! I LIKE A BREAKFAST PASTRY THAT WAS CREATED BY SATAN, THE LORD OF DARKNESS HIMSELF, JESUS CHRIST, ARE YOU ANNOYING OR WHAT? GOD, ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS COME DOWN HERE AND SHOW MY SELF TO A DERSERVING MORAL AND I GET PESTERED BY HIM. OMG, THIS IS HORRIBEL, ITS WORSE THAN BEING CRUCIFIED.
Me: Okay, okay. Man, all I wanted to know was if you like them or not, dude calm down.(you like pancakes, and the devil created them, na na na na naaa na)
Jesus: Okay, I'm sorry. I'm calm. Allright. There now back to busin-
Me: What did you mean "deserving"?
Jesus: What?
Me: What did you mean by " a deserving mortal", do I look deserving, I mean does something happen in the future that makes me deserving, do I like eat a bad batch of devil pancakes, or what? Why am I deserving?
Jesus: Nothing, I just thought I'd come down here and amazing one of my many Christian followers, and show them that I really am truly here!
Me: Umm, I'm not Chrisitan, I'm not anything, I said that!
Jesus: What, you mean your not a humble follower of the light?
Me: No, actually I'm gay, so my light is really more of a rainbow, I think you threw in a prysm there somewhere when you created me.
Jesus: So, I've been down here talking with a mortal and a homosexual, damn it, can this day get any worse?
Me: Actually it can, I mean the devil could come out with Toy Story 3, and the world surely would come to end in an evil pancake-y, syrup-y mess, now wouldn't it.
Jesus: Enough with pancakes, man do I need to chill, do you have any video games?
Me: Oh so the devil didn't invent those?
Jesus: No, he didn't, I did, it can get pretty boring up there in the sky with nothing to do, so I created something to do, I also created the sofa. There never seem to be enough chairs in Heaven.
Me: Hmmm, interesting. Well if it's games you want then check out this game I found on this porn site. Oh did the devil create porn too?
To Be Continued....
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