Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Jesus Chronicles Part 2

Here is the second part of the Jesus Chronicles.


Well after Jesus played that game he left in a hurry, something about "That game is really gay", any way I was still trying to finish the dishes when once again I turned around and this time some dude with red skin and horns was standing there!

Me: Well what is this open house for all religous effigies, is Buddha gonna come next and tell me to get down with my inner self.

Devil: I take it you know who I am?

Me: Yes you're the devil, Satan himself, evil incarnate, and if youre gonna come here and pester me you can at least dry some of these dishes.

Devil: Fine, your dishes are done. (and with a snap of his fingers the dishes were sparkling clean)

Me: Sweet I wish I could do that, now what do you want?

Devil: I came to reveal my self to you, and plus I knew he was coming here so I wanted some of the action.

Me: Oh, okay. Well since youre here are you gonna create Toy Story 3 and do you want some pancakes.

Devil: No Toy Story 3 isn't on the way, and I had some pancakes before I left. They were a little burnt, HA get it "burnt" and its hell, HAHAHA!

Me: Oh thats so funny, now what do you really want Mr. Heatmiser, oh and do I look deserving to you.

Devil: No you don't look deserving, did Jesus say that? What a dick! and did he know you were gay, cause if not thats some funny shit!

Me: No he didn't know I was gay, and hey did you also create the idea of homosexuality.

Devil: Actually no.

Me: What, then who did, please don't tell me Jesus did, cause if so, then that is some funny shit!!!

Devil: Well to be honest he didn't, Mary, ya know the Virgin Mary, did.

Me: Seriously wow thats funny!

Devil: Yeah her and Jesus got in a fight, and he said she was so ugly she looked like a man, and she said she would create men who loved other men, and women who created other women and she did. They were both drunk.

Me: Hmm, interesting. Well Mary created quite a craze. Are you gay?

Devil: Well, youre very forward, no I'm not, I'm bisexual.

Me: Ha Ha Ha that's funny, but you gotta pick a team eventually, come on man, what sex do you like to have sex with?

Devil: God damn, well if you must know, MEN, okay. They way less whiney then women and have nicer asses. Which is partly why I came here today.

Me: Excuse me, are you hitting on me Mr. Satan, cause thats just sinful. Ha Ha get it "Sinful" and youre the devil.

Devil: Yes I am little man, and what do you think, would you like to be my dark prince:

Me: Well youre very forward, but what would happen, would I go to Hell with you, cause if so I look horrible in shorts.

Devil: No, you can stay here and be on the mortal realm, plus I like coming up here, the pancakes are way better.

Me: Well, yes then. You seem very sexy, but what will Jesus think, (tee hee).

Devil: I will take that up with him myself, he need not know what we do!

Me: Okay, oh hey I have some pancake mix, do you want some?

Devil: I would like some, but first lets make our relansonship official.

And he took me in his arms, and....TO BE CONTINUED.

NEXT EPISODE: JESUS AND THE DEVIL FACE TO FACE, WITH A CAMMIO FROM THE VIRGIN HERSELF, MARY!!!!

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